As a child Dean loved hunting and fishing. He was a son, grandson, brother and a friend to many, but at an early age in life, Dean became involved with drugs & alcohol. There is a lingering thought in my mind, which I, his mother feel that I must mention, that this might have induced the disease of schizophrenia. It has not been proven as such. Although, if drugs & alcohol are taken with this disease it will prolong recovery.

In 1985 Dean was diagnosed as having paranoid schizophrenia and had been hospitalized most of the time. Unfortunately, on September 16, 1989 at age 25, the disease got to be too much for Dean and he died by suicide. It happened while in the hospital at Saint John Center care. It was a shock, but not a surprise. If there is such thing as bad timing, this was it because it happened that day after I remarried.

At first, I blamed myself but I didn't keep that guilt for long. I knew I did every possible thing I could do as a mother. I suffered right along with Dean. I could feel his pain and when this happened it was a relief to know that now he is at peace. He is not suffering anymore. I describe this disease as Hell on Earth. 10% of all people with schizophrenia commit suicide. Either to escape the torment of their illness or because their "voices" command them to. I believe this to be true in Dean's situation.

IN LOVING MEMORY OF J. DEAN MCALLISTER

Annual Book Lovers Fall Sale

In Loving Memory of J. Dean McAllister

Dates: September 13, 14, 15 & 16th, 2012
Place: Northumberland Square, Douglastown